Sure, we've all joked about the Hunger Games seeming eerily plausible for a piece of young adult fiction — but that eeriness feels deadly serious after a series of Trump wins on Super Tuesday.

Have you ever met someone more likely to throw a bunch of low-income teenagers into a booby-trapped obstacle course? It's a slippery slope toward the dystopian future depicted in the books, but perhaps not as far off as we'd like to imagine. Writer and literary agent Eric Smith struck a chord on Twitter when he pointed out just how close that future could be:

Which got me thinking... what would Trump's Hunger Games look like? We re-cast the story's characters as Trump's allies and enemies. We left Katniss, Peeta and Gale alone because they are untouchable. May the Drumpf be ever in your favor.

Donald Trump

Derek Gabryszak for Flama

In The Hunger Games, President Coriolanus Snow is a rich, corrupt creeper who threatens teenage girls and hosts lavish celebrations while the rest of the country starves and kills itself. He communicates with his citizens mostly through televised propaganda and pits the residents of the Districts against each other to preserve his power. So basically he's Trump.

Ann Coulter

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Effie Trinket is the mouthpiece of the Games, representing Snow's government in each District during the selection of their tributes. She's always composed and maintains an inhuman level of cheeriness as communities watch their kids go off to die. Basically, she encompasses all of Ann Coulter's baffling and infuriating qualities. But seriously guys... Ann Coulter is a huge Trump supporter. She even praised his refusal to denounce the KKK. It's terrifying how sensible she thinks she sounds.

Marco Rubio

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Seneca's one of the first Hunger Games baddies to get killed off, after pretty much fucking up his job and pissing off President Snow 'cause he's too soft. Like Rubio, he's too corrupt for the good guys but too soft for the bad guys.

Chris Christie

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When Seneca gets killed off, Plutarch Heavensbee kisses some major ass to get his old job — officially known as the Gamemaker, unofficially known as Snow's bitch. Plutarch's definitely got something up his sleeve, and isn't as dedicated to Snow as we might think... so here's to hoping that Christie honors his doppelgänger's legacy and grows a pair instead of standing behind Trump's podium while looking sad.

Hillary Clinton

Derek Gabryszak for Flama

President Coin is a woman of the people... well, sort of. As the leader of District 13, she's the de-facto leader of the rebellion against Snow. She's experienced, she's done her research, and she's been waiting years for the right chance to strike. After motivating Panem's population into a victory, President Coin soon starts to embody the corruption and out-of-touch leaders she fought so hard to depose. Not that I'm trying to say anything about our girl Hillz...

Bernie Sanders

Derek Gabryszak for Flama

A former champion of the Hunger Games, Haymitch knows what the young people of Panem are going through. He's the cantankerous advisor to Katniss and Peeta during their many deadly adventures, he's got some pretty killer one-liners, and he rarely brushes his hair. Are we sure Suzanne Collins isn't a secret Berner?